1. #001
1982-09-20
Madame prepares for the latest taping of her syndicated TV talk show. At the end of this hectic day, Madame's niece Sara Joy arrives from their native Georgia, determined to crack show business and requesting that her aunt put her up until she does.
2. This is Her Past
1982-09-21
23m
Sara Joy begins pounding the pavement in Hollywood; After being sawed in half by the world's most incompetent magician, Madame finds herself the surprise honoree on "This Is Your Life."
3. #003
1982-09-22
23m
A neighborhood boy whom Madame once babysat returns to visit her, but he has grown into a popular television evangelist. He tries to save Madame's soul while she tries to get him back in the bathtub.
4. #004
1982-09-23
23m
Bernadette books a ladies Dixie band on the show without Madame's approval; Buzz and Sara Joy submit Pinkerton's diary for publication, which divulges his long-ago affair with Madame. When the book sells, Pinkerton is torn between the generous cash advance and his loyalty to Madame.
5. #005
1982-09-24
23m
A rash of robberies in the neighborhood leads Madame to install a home security system. Unfortunately, as she's testing it out, a metal cage descends upon her from above and locks her in -- fifteen minutes before she's due on stage.
6. #006
1982-09-27
23m
No sooner does Solaria, a psychic, predict that Madame is fated to have a baby than a bundle of joy is found on the doorstep of the mansion.
7. #007
1982-09-28
23m
It's dueling divas when guest star Debbie Reynolds does a life-sized impression of Madame on the show; Sara Joy admits that the baby found on Madame's doorstep is hers, and the need to earn money leads her to accept a role in a pornographic film.
8. #008
1982-09-29
23m
Madame and Bernadette have a falling out after Solaria conducts a seance to make contact with Bernadette's deceased husband; Sara Joy reveals that she is not the true mother of the infant found on Madame's doorstep, and that she has been protecting the baby's real mother, a friend of hers from Dawson, Georgia.
9. #009
1982-09-30
23m
As the standoff between Madame and Bernadette rages on, the household falls into disarray; Sara Joy's friend Patty Sue takes ownership of the infant found on Madame's doorstep and heads back to Dawson, Georgia; on her show, Madame spotlights a Japanese comedienne who does uncanny impressions of Leslie Caron, Hermione Gingold, Katharine Hepburn, Sandra Dee and Shirley Temple.
10. #010
1982-10-01
23m
Madame and Bernadette reconcile, and the household returns to order -- until Madame becomes indisposed, at which point a scramble ensues to find a substitute host for that evening's show. With all of Tinseltown RSVP'd to a party hosted by Sammy Davis, Jr., Madame prepares Bernadette to take center stage.
11. #011
1982-10-04
23m
Concerned over Buzzy's adolescent crush on Sara Joy, Madame intervenes with the boy's self-involved show-biz parents, but her plan backfires when Buzzy runs away; Anthony Newley appears on Madame's show, where the two duet to "The Candy Man."
12. #012
1982-10-05
23m
After winning the Irish Sweepstakes, an eccentric, formerly homeless woman named Cora moves in next door to Madame. When the snooty neighbors protest, Madame goes the Pygmalion route to teach Cora how to behave like a lady of means.
13. #013
1982-10-06
23m
To boost ratings, Madame sponsors an on-air "Marry Madame" contest to find the man who will become her seventh husband; an extremely talkative Charles Nelson Reilly pays a visit to Madame's show, barely letting her get a word in edgewise.
14. #014
1982-10-07
23m
Bernadette, Pinkerton and Sara Joy take an instant dislike to Madame's new fiancé, but when Madame remains blind to his mercenary nature, they conspire to reveal his true colors.
15. #015
1982-10-08
22m
When Madame and con-man Dwayne Kellogg elope to Mexico, Pinkerton, Sara Joy and Bernadette spring into action to stop the wedding before it's too late; the outspoken Mr. Honest fills in for Madame on her show while she's away.
